Addressing the "real world" requires three actions - simultaneously...

A reader wrote: "Your words are so calm. But you have never addressed the real world.
I was beaten...what calm and enlighten words do you have to say to that.
Get with the real life world ...sir❗️"

My Reply...

Thank you very much for writing.

Addressing the "real world" requires three actions - simultaneously...

1) Recognize that whatever has happened in the past cannot be changed. Anger can't change the past. Revenge can't change the past. Acceptance and forgiveness are powerful tools in letting the past be the past, so you can focus on the present and the future.

Anger is often more hurtful than the injury that caused it.
- English Proverb

Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.
- Alice Duer Miller

2) Have a positive attitude. Having a positive attitude is both a tool to make you happier in the present, and a tool from which to launch "real world" actions and success.

Positive thinking will let you do everything
better than negative thinking will.
- Zig Ziglar

3) Take action. Begin now. Begin again each day. Take action with calm focus, and with a well-thought-out plan, but take action, and persevere.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Attitude and action are both essential.
Attitude without action is mere pretense.
Action without attitude is merely frenzied motion.
 - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 

Signs of a Compassionate Person

I found a great article - 8 Ways To Tell If You're A Truly Compassionate Person - and decided to make a brief summary.

These characteristics are generally associated with a compassionate person...

1. Emphasizing one's similarities to other people, rather than one's differences.

2. Giving a low priority to money.

3. Taking action by volunteering and offering specific help to individuals.

4. Being kind to yourself. Being compassionate begins with self-compassion.

5. Teaching others. Teaching another is the most powerful way to reenforce any idea in oneself.

6. Being in the moment. Compassion requires giving one's full attention to another - without multitasking, or thinking about one's next appointment.

7. Understanding that each person holds their own valid point-of-view.

8. Being grateful for other people.

What is Your Dream

Question: I am not sure what you mean by "your dream." Is it something you literally dream when you are sleeping? Is it different from hope? Is there more to it than hope?

My Answer:

Your Dream is your vision for the future - how you want the future to be, and how you intend for it to become.

Your Dream is more than just a hope in two ways.
1. You take action every day to further your dream.
2. You sincerely believe that attaining your dream is possible.

Consider how Martin Luther King, Jr. uses the word Dream in this quote...

I have a dream that my four little children will one day
live in a nation where they will
not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Luther King, Jr. didn't just "hope" for racial equality, he worked every day toward that goal, and believed in its reality.

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Eight Rules for Living Your Greatest Life

Eight Rules for Living Your Greatest Life

1. Honor yourself
Trust yourself, believe in yourself, and always act with honor.

2. Forgive both others and yourself for whatever has occurred.
Anger, hatred, vengeance, shame and guilt only hurt you further. Only complete forgiveness can create a joyful future.

3. Be grateful for all of life.
Be thankful you were born. Be thankful for every moment, for every bite of food, for each small joy. You were owed none of this. Everything is a gift.

4. Choose with open mind and open heart.
Make your own decisions, and make each decision from unconditional love.

5. Act from your vision.
Know your life purpose, and live each day to further that purpose.

6. Take action.
The best intentions mean nothing without action. Take action toward your life purpose each day.

7. Celebrate your life.
Let your life be a song and dance of celebration.

8. Know unity with Spirit and with all of creation.
Everything in creation is of the same masterwork. Everything is one.

Further reading: Eight Points of An Inspired Life - Keys to Happiness

How to Choose Your Life Purpose

Zero-Based Gratitude

Forgiveness

s Choose Your Habits, Choose Your Life

Plant Trees For Your Grandchildren

Is there a place for Honor today?

Is Hope Futile?

Question: I have tried goal setting and hoped for many things, but not one of them has ever happened.  In fact if I really take off after something, that is an absolute 100% guarantee it won't happen. Is hope futile?

My Answer:

There are a number of steps on the path to success - and you need all of them.

1. Believe that God wants good things for you.

Our prayers should be for blessings in general,
for God knows best what is good for us.
- Socrates

2. Believe in yourself - develop self-esteem.
(see How to Build Self Esteem)

Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities.
Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers
you cannot be successful or happy.
- Norman Vincent Peale

3. Take action toward your goals - every day.

You can't cross the sea merely by
standing and staring at the water.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Achievement seems to be connected with action.
Successful men and women keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

4. Accept "failure" when it comes. "Failure" may mean either that you have learned something that will enable you to "succeed" next time, or that God has chosen something better for you than what you asked for - even if it doesn't seem so at the time.

Success consists of going from failure to failure
without loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill

A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(also see A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect
and Maybe So, Maybe Not. - Ancient Taoist Proverb)

5. Never stop trying. Look for new paths toward your highest level goal (your life mission) - and do not get stuck in repeating old methods that didn't work.

Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.
- Napoleon Hill

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan


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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Break Old Patterns of Action

I do it. You do it. Most of the actions each of us take every day are based on reacting to a situation, rather than carefully considering it.

If we encounter a situation that feels different from anything we have ever encountered, we may actually stop to think before we act. But generally whatever happens feels familiar, even though this exact thing never happened before. And we instinctively take the same action we took in apparently similar situations.

For example, if we are approached by a person with a limp dressed in shabby clothes, we KNOW that person is a panhandler, and ignore the possibility that they need directions, or have useful information to share with us.

As an exercise in breaking habitual patterns of action, stretch yourself by...

1. Attending a worship service of a different denomination than your own - preferably one you don't feel at all called to - and listen attentively and openly to every word.

2. Attending a political rally of the "other" political party and listening attentively and openly.

3. Taking a walk in a neighborhood where predominately "other" kinds of people live. Shop in a neighborhood store. Listen openly to the conversations around you. Be conscious if you feel fear, and examine what concerns you.

4. Inviting your least favorite relative to lunch, and just listening to their ideas and values without interrupting, arguing, or even expressing your own differing point of view.

How to Cope When Life Lands a One-Two Punch?

Maybe you got fired, you can't find a job, your bank account is overdrawn, and life looks hopeless. Maybe you or your family is suffering a health crisis, or your spouse left your long-term-marriage. Whatever the specifics, when they attack, troubles seem to gang up on you. One problem leads to another until you feel your world is ending. The loss of job, health, or marriage leads to loss of financial security, and any sort of crisis leads to emotional depression. How to cope when life lands a one-two punch?

Respond to the crisis with a three-phase counter-attack:

1. Acceptance: Before you can recover from a crisis, you have to acknowledge that the devastation before your eyes is real. When life broadsides you, your first instinct is to look at the flaming crumpled wreck in disbelief and think, "This isn't real, this can't have just happened." But it did happen, and you can't move back the hands of time and ask the director for take-two. This isn't a movie, it's your real life. As William Shakespeare said, "What's done is done."

True acceptance requires giving up all resentments and regrets. Blame is not going to fix anything. Screaming at your ex-boss or ex-husband or sticking pins in their voodoo doll isn't going to change your situation, and it will make you feel even more upset.

The key to acceptance is forgiveness of everyone, especially yourself, for everything that has ever occurred. Forgiveness is for yourself - so you can release yourself from the fires of anger and hatred that will otherwise burn your spirit to a cinder. Adopt an attitude of forgiveness - not so your ex-boss or ex-husband can sleep better, but so you can transform your own nightmares into sweet dreams.

2. Faith: If you are deeply religious, you know what this means. In any case, have faith in your own abilities and in your future.

3. Action: Acceptance and faith are important, but they are not enough. Believe in the future and don't worry, but also keep taking action.

When you get hit by a sequence of challenges, such as job loss, financial worries, and depression, you need to respond with all three: Acceptance, Faith, and Action.

Release Exercise

Life is Not Supposed to be Fair

Choose Your Habits, Choose Your Life

How To Be Happy In Life - The 9 Paths To Happiness

How To Be Happy In Life - The 9 Paths To Happiness
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sometimes it appears that life throws more obstacles in our path than we can handle. However, even in the face of the most challenging circumstances, you can make the choice to be happy.

Read the rest of my article at How to Be Happy in Life.