How can I find what my happiness is supposed to be or look like?

From a reader: I'm going through some life stuff right now. People are always telling me to just 'be happy.' Honestly have no idea what that means... I've lived my life as a single mom. No idea what I'm to do now that they are all 'grown-ups.' How can I find what my happiness is supposed to be or look like when that's always seemed like such a luxury? Thanks.

My reply:

Thank you for writing.

For most people, happiness comes from service. In spite of the challenges and the long hours, I'm sure you received a large portion of happiness from being of service to your children.

The only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

Look for a balance of pampering yourself (which you certainly deserve, and which would be a pleasant change of pace), finding new interests, and finding new ways to be of service to others.

As far as "happiness," that is much more a matter of choosing to be grateful for your life, and choosing to be happy, than a matter of the circumstances of your life.

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't
come as a result of getting something we don't have,
but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
- Frederick Koenig

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
   

My Personal Motto

Question from a reader: WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO IN LIFE? AND WHY?

My Answer: I don't know that I have chosen a single personal motto. The "why" is that we can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we react - and that choice creates all our happiness or unhappiness.

The following mottos/quotes all reflect the idea that happiness is a matter of choice, rather than external conditions.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
It's about learning how to dance in the rain.
- Vivian Greene

Happiness is a choice.
- Anonymous

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We cannot choose our external circumstances,
but we can always choose how to respond to them.
- Epictetus

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie

Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll

Life is 10 percent what happens to me
and 90 percent how I react to it.
- Charles Swindoll

Choose the World You See, and See the World You Choose.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The beauty does not live out there; the beauty's in my eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My happiness depends on me.
- A Course in Miracles

Happiness is a function of accepting what is.
- Werner Erhard

The key to happiness is not to have what you want
but to want what you have.
- Anonymous

Success is getting what you want;
happiness is wanting what you get.
- Dale Carnegie

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Further reading: 7 Secrets for a Happy Life

Attitude Quotes

Happiness Quotes

Quotes about Choice

s Quotes to Live By

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Eight Rules for Living Your Greatest Life

Eight Rules for Living Your Greatest Life

1. Honor yourself
Trust yourself, believe in yourself, and always act with honor.

2. Forgive both others and yourself for whatever has occurred.
Anger, hatred, vengeance, shame and guilt only hurt you further. Only complete forgiveness can create a joyful future.

3. Be grateful for all of life.
Be thankful you were born. Be thankful for every moment, for every bite of food, for each small joy. You were owed none of this. Everything is a gift.

4. Choose with open mind and open heart.
Make your own decisions, and make each decision from unconditional love.

5. Act from your vision.
Know your life purpose, and live each day to further that purpose.

6. Take action.
The best intentions mean nothing without action. Take action toward your life purpose each day.

7. Celebrate your life.
Let your life be a song and dance of celebration.

8. Know unity with Spirit and with all of creation.
Everything in creation is of the same masterwork. Everything is one.

Further reading: Eight Points of An Inspired Life - Keys to Happiness

How to Choose Your Life Purpose

Zero-Based Gratitude

Forgiveness

s Choose Your Habits, Choose Your Life

Plant Trees For Your Grandchildren

Is there a place for Honor today?

Accept Circumstances - Choose Response

Question: My life is not the way am expecting, ... please advise me and pray for me.

Answer:

Our ability to change our circumstances is often woefully limited. However, each of us has an unlimited capability to choose the attitude with which we respond to those circumstances. We can look for joy in the smallest pleasures of life, while accepting the trials to which we have been subjected.

Accept Circumstances - Choose Response.

Expectations

Intention versus Expectation (Demand)

How to Make Good Decisions

To reduce the probability that you will regret your decision.

Carefully consider whether the question you are attempting to decide is really the best question.

Consider the consequences of making a poor decision. Is this really an important decision.

Write down all the alternatives and the criteria for making the decision.

Read the whole article at How to Make a Decision You Won't Regret

How To Be Happy In Life - The 9 Paths To Happiness

How To Be Happy In Life - The 9 Paths To Happiness
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sometimes it appears that life throws more obstacles in our path than we can handle. However, even in the face of the most challenging circumstances, you can make the choice to be happy.

Read the rest of my article at How to Be Happy in Life.