It Is Up To You

Reader question: dear sir , i really do have somewhat of a big problem , at least that whats i consider to be . i tend to care a great deal about people but they don't tend to return that care or love back , its not like i want something in return but i just think it would be nice if things are balanced , and it really gets me confused as in what to do .. need a few ideas on how to deal with such people.. thanks a lot .. Looking forward to hearing from you ..

My response:

It is about you - it is not about them.

Life isn't fair - or balanced.

It is up to you to live a joyful and productive life.

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair."
Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations
is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence.
Life is a game with no rules.
Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.
Our only path to happiness lies in being open
to receiving whatever life throws at us -
with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Zero-Based Gratitude

Life is Not Supposed to be Fair

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Technology Will Fail - Natural Disasters Will Happen - Prepare Yourself

All kinds of technology, from all vendors, will fail. It is just the nature of life. Communications networks fail. Websites fail. Computers fail. Cell Phones fail. Power plants and electrical grids fail. Medical devices fail. And hurricanes, earthquakes, and floods will happen.

No amount of complaining, blaming, or begging will keep systems and devices from failing, or reverse the failures. And the physical processes of our earth are equally unswayed by complaints of unfairness.

Prepare yourself. Assume every electronic, mechanical, human, and natural system will fail - just when you most depend upon it.

1. Take those steps you can to minimize the effects of failures and catastrophes. Backup the data in your computer every day. Keep a copy of data in a second location. Make plans for reconnecting with your family if communications systems fail. Keep a stock of food, water, and medicines at home, and ready to throw into your car. Consider everything you are dependent upon, and have a backup plan.

2. Even more important, prepare yourself emotionally for the probability that technology, systems, people, and nature will suddenly stop doing what you have always depended upon them to do. Prepare yourself in advance to accept the loss of any of the modern conveniences you have come to expect will always be there. If you are emotionally prepared, you will be able to deal with technology failures and natural happenings in a rational way. You will be prepared to consider alternatives and make logical choices, rather than becoming confused, complaining that it isn't fair, and demanding that someone make the problem go away.

Life isn't fair - never has been, and never will be. Your job is simply to do your best with what you are given - even when that changes from day to day, or moment to moment.

Further reading: Life is Not Supposed to be Fair

Abundance or Scarcity? Love or Fear?

Assumptions

Expectations

Life is All in the Perspective We Take on It