May God Grant You Serenity and Courage

A reader who is stuck in very challenging circumstances and "can't seem to get ahead," asks,"Any prayer, affirmation, or advice would be greatly appreciated."

My reply...

I recommend pursuing two paths simultaneously:
1) Work to improve your circumstances.
2) at the same time, Choose to live the most joyful life possible within your current circumstances.

It's one of life's great paradoxes ...
Accepting with gratitude whatever life throws at us
is critical to happiness.
Yet without a goal and commitment, life loses much of its value.
The best we can do in the face of this paradox
is to play to win, but be cheerful in defeat
and ready to play again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman,
before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.
- John Quincy Adams

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)


May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

      

Many Paths to Joy and Service

Question: The purpose of my life from childhood has been to study medicine and become a researcher. I have always gotten excellent grades, but I have been turned down for medical school. I feel like my life is over. What should I do?

My Answer:

I am very sorry that you are so troubled. Please, please take good care of yourself. Your life is important - value it and respect it.

I understand your life feels very difficult at this time. Nonetheless, you can choose to live a great life - a life of joy and a life of service.

I understand that it feels very important to you to attend medical school, but I ask you to look at your life from a wider perspective. Perhaps you will eventually attend medical school - and that would be wonderful. But there are many other ways for you to live a great life.

There are only two true values in life - your own joy, and being of service to others. These two are related in that one of the best ways to find your own joy is to be of real service to others.

Ask yourself why you want so much to attend medical school. What is your underlying goal in life? Medical school by itself cannot be your ultimate goal in life. It must be merely one stepping stone on the way to your true goal. So what is that true goal? If your true goal is to be of service to others by helping to cure disease, then medical school would be a great path, but it is not the only path. Suppose you spend your life as a laboratory assistant rather than as a graduate medical researcher? I realize that would not be your first choice, but couldn't you be of great service, and also live a joyful life.

It is far less important what your job title is, than that you approach your job with dedication and compassion. Consider these words by the great Martin Luther King Jr.

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Let me share a story...

Do you know whose hands actually performed the delicate work of the world's first heart transplant? No, not Dr. Christiaan Barnard, but his black laboratory assistant Hamilton Naki. At that time, Blacks were not allowed to attend medical school or be doctors in South Africa. Read the whole story here. Even if the story has been exaggerated, let it inspire you to do what you can with the opportunities available - as well as also continuing to look for higher-leverage opportunities.

Listen also to the words of Helen Keller (1880-1968) who overcame being both deaf and blind to become a famous author, lecturer, and activist for women's suffrage, workers' rights, and ending war.

When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A Roadmap for a Joyful Life

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

If your life is filled with purpose and joy, congratulations. You are doing exactly what is right for you.

However, if you are suffering, and wonder what your life is all about, read on. These 9 steps describe my own path to joyful living, and may be helpful to others.

1. Live for a while without questioning life.

2. Question the meaning of life. The trigger for this is usually some big disappointment such as an illness, a death in the family, job loss, financial setback, or a romantic breakup.

3. Look for the meaning of life in money, fame, or sexual conquests.

4. Be severely disappointed, and question life even more strongly.

5. Look for the meaning of life in organized religion. For some, this provides a satisfying answer. For others...

6. Be severely disappointed by organized religion.

7. Look for the meaning of life in service to the less fortunate, in family life, and in a personal connection with the Indwelling and Universal Spirit.

8. Make the conscious choice to live a joyful life of service, and oneness with Spirit and all of creation.

9. Live joyfully in gratitude for all of life.

One of the secrets of life is that
all that is really worth the doing
is what we do for others.
- Lewis Carroll

I am pleased to have everyone add their comments below. I ask those who have found their own life-answer inside organized religion to add their personal testament below, but not to attack those who find a different path to joyful living.

Further reading: How to Choose Your Life Purpose

Perspectives on the Nature of God - Which of these Five Views Matches Yours?

Trust in the Light

Unanswered Prayers

Have a Conversation With God, Today

Zero-Based Gratitude

Feel Your Connection With the Infinite - a Meditation

Grant That I May Radiate

Grant That I May Radiate

Grant that I may radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace
to all those around me
and all those in my thoughts
this day and ever more.

You get to choose whether to suffer or to be joyful.

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- jlh

Your boss, your spouse, your children, your relatives... Whatever they do is neither good nor bad. You get to make your own choices in life. You get to choose whether to suffer or to be joyful.