Disappointment, Root of All Unhappiness

Disappointment is your thought that
God doesn't know what God is doing.
- Neale Donald Walsch

There is a continuum of belief in an omnipotent and benevolent God that runs from "absolutely," through "I hope so," and "maybe," to "absolutely not." [There are also many - such as my wonderful Hindu friends -  who believe in a God or Gods that are not omnipotent, not benevolent, or both, but that is a subject for another day.]

Those who have unswerving faith in an omnipotent and benevolent God can never be disappointed, and are quite likely the happiest among us. Whatever happens in the world or in one's personal life can be regarded as the blessed work of God. If something appears unjust or unfair or evil or immoral, the response of a person of true faith, is not disappointment, but praise: "Clearly, what is happening is good, because it is the work of my omnipotent and benevolent God. If His work appears to my eyes to be flawed, the fault lies with my eyes. I  pray that I may see all God's works as good."

At the opposite end of the spectrum, one who is quite sure the God is a figment of the human imagination can certainly never be disappointed by any expectations of God.

Thoughts on Trust

Trust is not necessary when you don't want or need anything.
If you are wondering whether you can "trust" someone,
look closely at what it is you think you need or want from them.
When you need or want nothing, trust is not an issue.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Hmmm?!? Really?

I generally agree with Neale Donald Walsch, and always find his ideas thought provoking. However completely dismissing the value of "trust" seems extreme.

"Trust" seems to me to be yet another of the many domains in which a moderate perspective is best. I do agree that "trust" is generally overvalued by those who are needy and insecure. Consider the demand to "trust" that a relationship will never grow beyond its current boundaries -- that current personal or business partners will never wish to expand and move on. Surely, that exhibits neediness and insecurity.

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

On the other hand, I contend that certain levels of trust are essential. You really do need to trust that your spouse won't slit your throat while you sleep. To do otherwise would be paranoid, and create a miserable life.

So where to draw the line on "trust?" When do you believe what your spouse, or your business partner, or your banker, or a politician says -- and when do you verify? It must be a balance -- determined by what gives you the greatest quality of life.

You may be deceived if you trust too much,
but you will live in torment
if you don't trust enough.
- Frank Crane

Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters
cannot be trusted in large ones either.
- Albert Einstein

Physical Pain

Reader question: I experience a lot of pain after a recent surgery, how can I remain joyful and positive in spite of this?

My reply:

Physical pain is the most challenging obstacle we have to face, and the one least amenable to overcoming purely through attitude. Nonetheless..

1. First apply a positive attitude toward the the other issues that are probably accompanying your physical pain, such as… the fear that the pain will get worse or never go away.  Unlike physical pain, fear and worry are relatively easy to overcome through a positive attitude.

2. I find great help from self healing, and those who are more inclined toward prayer healing often find that helpful. There are many systems of self healing or prayer healing, but you can also just keep it very simple. Visualize a white light shining down on the painful area, and give thanks in advance for the healing that is about to occur. Whether is is due to the power of God, the placebo effect, or something else entirely, it does work for those who believe it works.

3. Just take one day at a time — or one minute at a time when the pain is really bad. Believe that tomorrow will be a better day.

Tell your heart that the fear of suffering
is worse than the suffering itself.
- Paulo Coelho

Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes

Gratitude in advance is the most powerful
creative force in the universe.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day, saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What Is Reality?

You Create Your Own Reality.
- Anonymous

How can someone say "You Create Your Own Reality?" Are they crazy? Yet many wise people have expressed essentially this idea. What is going on?

I say that there are two kinds of reality - the reality of facts, and the reality of experiences. At first glance, one would be inclined to think that facts are the basis of everything, but much that is important cannot be dealt with using facts.

When you argue with reality,
you lose - but only always.
- Byron Katie

To deny the facts would be illogical.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

The Byron Katie and Star Trek quotes address the reality of facts. A fact might be that you were fired from your job last Friday. That is reality, and nothing you can believe or disbelieve or argue about changes that fact - that reality. Whether you believe your dismissal was unjustified doesn't change the fact. Arguing with this kind of fact is illogical, and causes you to suffer needlessly

Now, moving to the reality (or unreality) of experiences, when you were fired, you might also have believed that you would never get another job, or that your children would starve, or that your mother would think you were worthless, or you might have begun to believe that you were now worthless. These beliefs exist outside the realm of facts. The first three of these deal with the future, and thus can either become true or can become false - depending upon your actions, among other things. Your own thought of your worthlessness can be changed in an instant by simply altering your perception of yourself and your value.

Regarding experiences and perceptions, there are no underlying facts, and thus the idea that "You Create Your Own Reality" is not only correct, but of great practical importance in motivating you to believe in yourself and to take actions that create material benefits, as well as joy, in your future.

Here are three more quotes on the idea that you can control how you experience life, and that the future is altered by how you choose to experience the present.

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.
- don Miguel Ruiz

All that is real is seen with the heart.
- Vivian Greene

Your thoughts create your reality.
Your mind is more powerful than you know.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Further reading: How to Cope With Life
Overcome Being Negative
Abundance or Scarcity? Love or Fear?
Truth isn't True. Reality isn't Real.
Coping with the Impossible