How Much Is Enough?

I often receive emails asking how the writer, in their specific circumstances, can possibly be expected to be happy, or to be grateful for life.  What if they are in constant agonizing pain? What if their children are dying of starvation? What if they are living with relatives because they can't find a job? What if the investment advisor they trusted absconded with their money and they are forced to sell their yacht? Where is the line between "need" and "want?" How much is enough?

Some of the main themes of my Daily Inspirations are: gratitude for all of life, appreciation of the abundance that surrounds us, and the joys of simple living. I continue to assert that those themes are keys to happiness for most of us, but I also acknowledge that there are exceptions - mostly in situations of extreme physical pain (at least in America).

Making a conscious choice to be grateful for what one has, to have a positive attitude toward life, and to choose happiness are VERY powerful tools for living a better life. If a person has enough food, a roof over their head, and a tolerable level of physical pain, I recommend that gratitude and a positive attitude be the first-line tools in life.

There are a few common circumstances which cause severe long-lasting distress, and for which a positive attitude can be especially helpful:
* Being unemployed or underemployed. Recognize that the primary issue here is not money (at least in America, an unemployed worker and their family are not going to starve). The primary issue is a sense of shame and inadequacy.
* Loss of a loved one. They are in a better place. Appreciate what is good in life, and focus on the future.
* A childhood trauma such as bullying, rape, an alcoholic parent. The past cannot be undone. Appreciation of what is good, and a focus on the future are the best tools against past issues.
* Feeling lonely.

In situations where feeling lonely is the issue, or contributes to the issue, I also strongly recommend positive interactions with others, in addition to gratitude and a positive attitude. There are supportive religious groups, there are supportive community groups, and especially, there are opportunities to be of service to those less well off than oneself.

Finally, understand that appreciation and a positive attitude represent a starting point, a base line. A positive attitude not only offers more happiness in the present, but is also the strongest base from which to take action. A person with a positive attitude is better able to find a good job than a person who exudes negativity. A person with a positive attitude is better able to benefit their community through social and political action than a negative person.

Positive thinking will let you do everything
better than negative thinking will.
- Zig Ziglar

The best way to cheer yourself
is to try to cheer someone else up.
- Mark Twain 

I wept because I had no shoes
until I met a man who had no feet.
- old Persian Proverb

He who can give thanks for little
will always find he has enough.
- Anonymous

Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.
- Epicurus

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

Abundance or Scarcity? Love or Fear?

Know that fear is your worst enemy -
perhaps your only enemy.
- jlh

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard

Abundance or Scarcity? Love or Fear?

Most of the time, most people live their lives out of a sense of scarcity - the feeling that there isn't enough to go around, and that they have to fight other people for what there is.

A mentality of scarcity - of lack - is the natural consequence of viewing the world through eyes of fear. When one is fearful of the future, one develops a "bunker mentality" - hoarding what one has, and scheming, or even resorting to force, to attempt to get more - at the expense of others. When one views life through eyes of fear, there can be no generosity, love, or even mutual cooperation.

In contrast, when you view the world through eyes of love, the future becomes unlimited. Cooperation and generosity are natural expressions of love. A perspective of love generates confidence in the unlimited bounty of the universe.

Truly, there are only two ways to view the world: through eyes of love, or through eyes of fear. Most of us spend some of our time wearing one set of glasses, and some time wearing the other, but nonetheless, these are the two ways in which life can be seen.

In Your Personal Life

For myself, generosity - being a "Good Samaritan" - is a moral imperative. But, beyond that, love, cooperation and generosity simply work better than fear and a "bunker mentality" for several practical reasons.

1. Whatever happens in the "real" world, you will be much happier if you are confident rather than fearful. Happier if you love people and befriend them, rather than fearing them and distancing yourself. Happier if you work cooperatively with people, rather than competing against them.

2. Cooperation and generosity really do get better results than competition and hoarding. Help your co-worker finish a project; shovel your neighbor's driveway; share some of your wisdom with someone starting out in business. Try it. You will be surprised by how often the favor gets returned - and by the unexpected ways in which your gift is reciprocated.

3. I have no scientific proof for Karma, but in my own life it is very real. Do good, and good is returned. Do harm, and you will suffer.

In the World (caution, political opinion)

Even passing over the morality of caring for the young, the old, and the physically or mentally infirm, cooperation and generosity are good for a country. An economy is healthy only when money circulates, rather than being hoarded - either by corporations or by wealthy individuals.

The United States is currently suffering from a stagnation caused by a mentality of fear. When there are many people ready and able to work, and for whom there are no jobs, something is seriously wrong.

Forget microscopic analysis, and look at the BIG picture... During World War II, people pulled together and did what needed to be done. There was a job for everyone. It hasn't happened since.

We have bridges decaying, children unfed and unschooled, sick people left to die in pain. And at the same time, we say we don't have a job for everyone.

With all that work that truly needs to be done, and people ready to do that work, if we could only replace our national fear and "bunker mentality" with love, cooperation, and generosity, imagine what we could accomplish.

My fellow Americans:
ask not what your country can do for you -
ask what you can do for your country.
- John F. Kennedy